Fighting Black
by Kinelea
Summary: Random Christmassyness with the Marauders and an OC. Basically the trials of resisting the charming Sirius Black. Funny. Title by Amoeba Queen. CHAPTER FOUR! FINALLY! MUAHAHAHAHA! Please R
1. Chapter One: Mistletoe

Disclaimer: I don't any of the marauders (accept for Sirius, he's mine all mine, muahahahahahahaha! No just joking) and Tacey belongs to Amoeba Queen. 

Chapter One

Peter Pettigrew was a short rather chubby boy about the age of fifteen. He was defenitely not what you would call attractive and you certainly wouldn't notice him in a crowd. The only reason he did get noticed every now and then was because of his three very popular, rather good looking friends. First off, there was James Potter. Not only was he the star seeker and captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, he was also considered by most girls as "cute". He had unruly black hair and glasses but he was the type of guy who looked good in glasses.

At the moment, said James Potter was currently sneaking up on Peter, mistletoe clutched firmly in hand. All too suddenly, Potter jumped his friend and dangled the mistletoe above his head while shouting,

" Who has to kiss Peter?" 

Needless to say, no one volunteered. People even went so far as to shudder and back away. Sirius Black, another of Peter's popular friends, finally took pity on him. Sirius was a tall, roguishly handsome young man with black hair and mischievous dark brown eyes. 

" I will." 

Looks of revulsion and puzzled astonishment were shot Sirius' way but he took no notice of them. James himself raised a questioning eyebrow as Sirius walked up to Peter. Donning his best sarcastic and fake model voice, Sirius said

" Oh, Peter your so sssssssssssexy, like a ssssssssssssstallion." 

The common room was then filled with raucous laughter. Even James burst into uncontrollable hysterics, falling back and dropping the mistletoe. Poor Peter was left staring wide eyed at Sirius, a mix of horror, confusion and shock playing across his face. 

Sirius joined in on the laughter and patted the frightened Pettigrew on the back who shrank back from his touch. 

Remus Lupin, who was the last of the boy's group, saw this as an opportunity. Remus was a permanently tired looking boy with brown hair and gray eyes. He had been quietly sitting in a corner up to this point, avidly reading one of his many books. The laughter had jerked him abruptly out of his interesting book and he had immediately gathered what was going on. 

Leaping up from his chair, Lupin scooped the mistletoe into his hand, and dangled it over Sirius' head and shouted,

" Now let's see who has to kiss this guy." 

The complete opposite to what had happened with Peter then ensued. What seemed to be thousands of girls ranging from eleven to seventeen then raced towards the handsome boy. Used to this but not at such a great volume, Sirius wildly looked around for any female who hadn't clambered to kiss him. 

After finding no such person after several seconds and fearing that she didn't exist, his frantic gaze finally fell upon Tacey Williams. She was what would be considered an attractive girl of fifteen if only she would take the time and effort to don even a smudge of makeup and try to do anything with her long black curls. She had piercing blue eyes that glimmered with cold intelligence and discipline. 

The golden skin of her face twisted into a grimace seeing Sirius' eyes resting on her.

" I don't want to kiss him." She stated, bluntly, and the raging mass of Sirius lovers cast her all manner of shocked and disgusted looks. 

Sirius slumped his shoulders in mock disappointment and asked in a very pitiful fake pouty voice,

" You don't want to kiss me?" 

Sirius expected a blush or even a giggle but the only reply he received was,

" No." 

Puzzled, Sirius stood up straight once again and shot a bewildered look at James. It couldn't be possible that any girl didn't want to kiss him. Even the thought of it was preposterous. But, here it was, directly in front of him, a distinctly female human who did not want to have anything to do with the action of locking lips with him. Still disbelieving, Sirius took a step forward, expecting Tacey's facade to then crumble and for her to squeal and suddenly run towards him or something to that affect. No such thing happened.

" Come any closer and I'll curse you." Warned Tacey, reaching for her wand. 

This could not be happening! First, she denies wanting to kiss him, which, Sirius reasoned, she obviously did and was simply very good at hiding the fact and then she threatens to curse him. No one other than Snivellus and some other cocky Slytherin's had ever threatened to curse him and they had come out the worse in that. 

Again, he took a step forward, still completely and totally puzzled. She might not kiss him but she defenitely would not curse him.

" Do you like your face in the shape it is? Because if you don't, I can change that for you." 

Tacey's wand was now fully out and pointed at Sirius. He actually stopped, totally bewildered and shocked.

It was at this moment that the men of the common room, all in the name of good sport, of course, grabbed Tacey and began shoving her towards the awaiting Sirius. A stream of very crude and colorful swear words then tore free of Tacey's mouth. Sirius was truly amazed. He never thought a girl could know that many swear words. He was impressed. 

Finally, Tacey was inches in front of him. Some brilliant person had managed to take her wand from her and thus saved many of the Gryffindor boys from being turned into toads or other even less pleasant things. 

Sirius, having fully convinced himself that once she'd experienced what it was like to kiss him, Tacey would not resist, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. 

WACK!

He wheeled backwards into James and Remus who were the only cause for him not winding up on the floor. Sirius regained his footing and stared at Tacey, shocked beyond all belief and completely oblivious to the fact that his nose was bleeding heavily. 

" If you ever touch me again, I swear I'll do something worse." 

With these words, Tacey stormed up to the girls dormitory. 

" She's completely insane." Commented Sherry Reynolds, one of the more empty headed of the cheerleader type seventh years. She stared after Tacey for a moment and then turned to Sirius with a look of pure adoration. 

" Sirius, let me take care of your nose for you." She batted her eyelashes at him and drew nearer.

" No, my nose is fine." Sirius replied, firmly.

" But it's bleeding." 

" No, it's fine, go away." 

After several more attempts to try and help him, Sherry went away and the crowd dispersed, leaving the four Marauders alone in the common room. 

" Fuck, my nose!" Sirius exclaimed, as soon as Sherry was gone. 

" I don't think it's broken." Noted Remus, looking intently at his friend's damaged nose.

" It better not be." Sirius said, fervently. 

" I can't believe she didn't want to kiss me! I bet it was an act." Said Sirius, his nose completely forgotten once again.

" Or maybe she just doesn't like you." Peter suggested, meekly.

" Bite your tongue!" Snapped Sirius, glaring intensely at Pettigrew. Peter fell silent and shrank back from his friend. 

" I'm telling you, it had to be an act. Girls feel that they have this dignity to maintain, so they don't slobber over guys that they're obviously obsessed with." Sirius informed his friends, matter-of-factly.

James leaned over and whispered in Remus' ear,

" A real man of the world he is." 

" Defenitely. Never seen such skill." Remus whispered back before asking,

" And do they punch said guys in the nose?" 

" If they have to." 

James shook his head and put an arm around his friend's shoulders.

" Whatever you say, Padfoot. Now let's get you to the Hospital Wing so that Mrs. Bellemeu can fix that nose for you."

A/N: So what did you people think? Just some random, christmas fun, maybe more to come, we'll see. Anyway, tell me what u think. And the sexy stallion line was Amoeba Queen's idea. 


	2. Chapter Two: The Bet

Chapter Two: The Bet

" Ah, take that, Snivellus, you greasy git!" Sirius yelled, flicking a spoonful of porridge across the table at Severus Snape. The students who'd remained at Hogwarts for the Christmas holidays were all seated at one table in the great hall, as was the staff.

" Mr. Black, that is quite enough. And you, Mr. Potter, can stop as well." Dumbledore interceded. James had just finished dumping a pitcher of pumpkin juice onto Lucius Malfoy's head. 

" Sorry, Proffessor." James apologised, grinning and putting down the now empty pitcher, not looking the least bit sorry. 

Just then, Tacey entered the Great Hall and sat down at the opposite end of the table from where Sirius was seated. This did not stop him. He got up out of his seat and deliberately walked over to where Tacey sat and took a chair beside her. Sirius had determined that Tacey was in fact, hopelessly in love with him but was hesitant to reveal her true feelings for god knows what reason. His goal was now to bring forth said feelings and therefore achieve his ultimate goal of having all the girls in the school openly adore him. 

" Please go away." Tacey moaned, piteously.

Sirius flashed his brightest, whitest most charming smile and said,

" Ok you can drop the act. Every one knows your crazy about me." 

Tacey turned to him, a look of sheer disgust on her face.

" I hate you. Or hadn't you guessed that from the bloody nose?" 

Sirius waved a hand dismissively.

" I know that was just so you could keep your 'dignity'. But it doesn't matter now, you can show your true feelings." 

Tacey sighed, defeatedly. She looked up at Sirius and batted her eyelashes at him. Leaning dangerously close to him, she put a hand on his chest. 

" You know, Sirius, you're right. All I want to do is kiss you and hold you and be with you all the time." 

Her voice was seductively low and her hand slid up his chest and rested on his shoulder. Sirius smiled and leaned closer.

" Really?" He asked, about to kiss her.

" No." She replied, firmly, slapping him hard across the face. 

Sirius' head whipped harshly to the side.

" Now leave me alone." Growled Tacey, throwing an egg at him. This hit him in the face splattering him with egg goop and he fell off the bench. 

" Mr. Black, that is quite enough." Snapped Dumbledore.

" But Professor Dumbleodore, sir, this time it really wasn't my fault." Sirius said, trying in vain to wipe the egg goop onto the sleeve of his robes. 

" No, Professor Dumbledore, sir, it really was his fault." Said Tacey, smugly, smirking down at Sirius.

" That is enough, you two, now eat your breakfasts in peace." 

" Yes, Professor." Was grumbled from both parties. Sirius trudged back to where his friends were seated. 

" Looks like that went over well." James noted, sarcastically. 

Sirius shrugged, now grabbing a napkin to wipe the egg goop with. 

" She's just playing hard to get. Believe me, she'll be all over me by in a week." 

James raised his eyebrows.

" Care to make a small wager on that, Padfoot?" 

The egg goop was now almost completely gone and a certain glimmer appeared in his eyes as he heard the wager.

" Well, Prongs, that's an interesting proposal. What kind of wager?" 

" How about twenty galleons? I'm betting you won't be able to do it, and you're betting you will. You have until next Monday. Deal?" 

James stuck out his hand, implying that they were to shake on it. Sirius grinned.

" You got it, Prongs. You're gonna' be sorry when you're paying me twenty galleons at next Monday." 

With that, they shook hands. 


	3. Chapter Three: Christmas Buddies

Chapter Three: Christmas Buddies

It just so happened that the next day was Christmas Buddies day. Normally, Sirius didn't like this Hogwarts holiday tradition but this year he had a goal he wished to achieve. 

Sirius walked up to Troy Daniels, a seventh year who was the official head of the Christmas Buddies program, and put on his brightest smile. 

" Hello, Troy." 

Daniels looked up from the names he had been writing down on scraps of parchment and shot Sirius a suspicious look.

" Hello, Sirius. You've never liked this program so why did you come here early?" 

Sirius shrugged good naturedly.

" Well, I've decided to make the best of it this year so I just wanted to see how things were coming along." 

" You can't be serious, Black. What do you want? Just cut the crap and come right out and say it." 

Sirius sighed.

" Well, ok. I need a favor. I need you to fix it so that I end up with this one girl." 

Troy sighed and shook his head.

" No way, Black. If you draw her name or she draws yours then so be it but I won't fix it." 

Sirius put on his best puppy dog look.

" Come on, Troy, my good friend. I really like this girl. Can't you do your good buddy Sirius this tiny little favor?" 

Troy rolled his eyes.

" First of all, the puppy dog look has never worked on me. Second of all, we have never been good friends. Thirdly, I tell you again, I won't fix it." 

Sirius sighed.

" Will you do it for money?" 

Troy's eyes lit up.

" Well...how much?" 

" Oh, say, fifteen galleons?" 

Daniels considered it for a moment.

" Twenty and I'll do it." 

" Done. Her name is Tacey Williams." 

Troy nodded then held out his hand. Sirius gave him ten galleons.

" Hey! Wait a minute, you said-"

" Ten now and the rest when I actually have her as my buddy. I have to make sure you do it." 

Troy grudgingly agreed and pocketed the money. 

" Remember, she gets no one but me." 

Troy nodded again and resumed his work. Sirius walked away grinning.

*

Sirius, for the first time in his life, was actually excited about the Christmas Buddies ceremony. This greatly puzzled his friends.

" Merlin's beard, Sirius! You're practically vibrating you're so excited! I thought you hated this?" James asked, quite baffled.

Sirius merely grinned.

" I think this year is gonna' be different, Prongs my good friend." 

James looked at him, puzzled, then shook his head. 

By custom, the girls drew names. Tacey was the seventh to go up. She glanced over the crowd before she drew and saw Sirius grinning at her. She sighed, exasperatedly and everyone in the room could practically read the thought, Please, Merlin, anyone but him!

Tacey plunged her hand in and drew out a folded piece of parchment. She unfolded it and-

" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She wailed, sinking to her knees, seeing Sirius' name on the parchment.

" Why cruel world????" She sobbed, eyes heavenward and fists clenched.

" It's not fair!!!!!" 

Troy walked up to her and said,

" Uh, Ms. Williams, could you please go join your buddy and let someone else come up?" 

She looked up at him and gripped the hem of his robes.

" No, you can't do this to me! Please don't make me go with him! Please!!!!! It's not fair!!!!" She broke off again.

Troy worriedly looked down at her.

" I'm sorry, Ms. Williams, but rules are rules, we can't just change them for you." 

She looked up at him, sheer horror on her face.

" No, you don't understand, you can't do this to me! My holidays will be hell if they have to be spent with him!" She said him as if he were a festering pimple.

After prompted several more times by Troy, Tacey finally accepted her fate and walked towards the beaming Sirius. 

" We're gonna' have lots of fun over the holidays, aren't we, buddy?" Sirius asked, elbowing her playfully.

She shot him a look that clearly said, touch-me-once-more-and-I'll-bite-you, then actually said,

" Never call me that. Believe me, Black, it will be a miracle if I don't kill you before this is over."

Sirius merely grinned.


	4. Chapter Four: Ultimate Torture

A/N: FINALLY!!!! It has come!!! The long awaited fourth chapter!!! You may all thank Amobeaqueen for this for she is the one who prompted, correction, threatened me so much that I feared for my life and thus had to write more. So, here it is. Enjoy!

Chapter Four: Ultimate Torture

The next day, Sirius, James, Remus, Peter and their Christmas buddies all went to Hogsmeade. It had turned out that James had ended up with Lily as his Buddy (a fact which he was profoundly pleased with and she wasn't). To everyone's dismay, Peter has gotten stuck with Severus Snape and Remus was paired with a shy, third year Ravenclaw girl named June. Tacey clearly hated spending all this time with Sirius and he was not liking the fact that he hadn't even been able to make her chuckle. 

They wound up in the Three Broomsticks and ordered a round of butterbeer.

" -seventeen because snakes have no armpits and there are no bones in ice cream." Sirius finished. Their whole table erupted in laughter, even Snape chuckled darkly. And to Sirius' surprise, Tacey chuckled into her butterbeer as if she were trying to hide it. 

" Come on, you have to admit that was funny." Sirius beamed, leaning too close. 

" I'd heard it before." Shot Tacey before splashing the remains of her butterbeer in his face. 

Sirius wheeled backwards, spluttering, as James and Remus laughed. He scowled at them as he grabbed a napkin. 

" You're a very negative person." Sirius noted, as he cleaned his face. 

" What can I say, it's a gift." Tacey snapped.

Sirius merely shook his head. 

Conversation dragged on for about ten more minutes until Sirius said,

" Yeah, only because James fantasizes about snogging Lily so much that he can't pay attention." 

James promptly choked on his butterbeer then whipped out his wand with the intention of cursing Sirius. Sadly, it didn't turn out that way. Just as he was about to send the curse Remus sneezed hence lurching forward and hitting James' hand. This knocked his aim off and sent the curse at Lily instead. She was hit full force with the dreadful tap dancing curse so she suddenly rose out of her chair and started wildly tap dancing. 

" Oh my god, Evans, I am so sorry!" Said James, jumping up out of his chair and racing over to her. 

Her face was livid with rage. 

" What the hell have you done, Potter?" She asked.

" God, Evans, I'm sorry." James said, as Lily tap danced herself away from the table and into the wall.

" Ouch!!!" Lily exclaimed, unable to control her feet. 

James was at her side trying to help her and she was fending him off most violently. 

Remus had jumped over to help James and June had become incredibly terrified so she took off. Remus turned and took a step to follow her then thought better of it and turned back to Lily. 

It came down to where James and Remus actually had to pick Lily up (with her feet still tap dancing wildly in mid air) and carry her away. Peter, of course, followed.

Sometime during all of this, Snape had slunk away. This left Sirius and Tacey alone at the table. 

" Well, since everyone else is gone, I feel absolutely no obligation to spend time with you." Tacey stated, rising from her chair and starting for the door. 

" Aw, come on, Tace, just a little while." Sirius said, desperately, also standing and grabbing her arm. 

" What have I told you about the touching?" Tacey asked, coldly, turning to face him. This act put them very close together with very little space between their faces. 

" Come on, do you really hate it that much?" Sirius asked, softly, loosening his grip until it his hand slid down her arm in a sort of caress and finally came to her hand. 

" Did I say you could hold my hand? Because if I did it seems to have slipped my memory." Tacey said, rudely pulling her hand away. 

Just then, Wilbur Longstocking, a small, dweeby, just plain scary Hufflepuff with thick glasses walked up to them. Tacey automatically cringed. This kid had had an obsessive crush on her since first year and Tacey, frankly, found him just plain terrifying. 

" Hi...Tacey." Wilbur breathed, smiling psychotically and adjusting his glasses as he looked up at her. 

Tacey suppressed a scream then wildly searched for Sirius' hand which she found and crushed in her own. Sirius winced. 

" Oh, Wilbur, have you met my boyfriend Sirius?" Tacey asked, trying to sound casual and smiling at Sirius.

" Huh?" Sirius asked, blinking and glancing at Wilbur who's psychotic smile had turned into a dangerous looking frown. 

" But, Tace, I'm not-mmmf!" Sirius was cut off by Tacey's sudden and extremely unexpected kiss. Sirius wasn't quite sure why she was kissing him but, after a second or two, he gave in and kissed back. 

The kiss lasted for a long moment then Tacey pulled back, leaving Sirius rather dazed, confused but also extremely pleased. 

" You see, Wilbur, Sirius gets dangerously jealous of me and might seriously hurt you if you talk to me so, for your own safety, I suggest we don't talk any longer." Tacey said in a fakely sweet voice, snuggling closer to Sirius. 

" But...Tacey..." Wilbur rasped, glaring at Sirius with all the fierceness of a thousand suns. Well, he was trying to glare at Sirius with all the fierceness of a thousand suns but the effect was rather diminished because he was very small and extremely dweeby looking. 

Tacey sharply elbowed Sirius in the ribs and glared at him quickly as if to say 'Play along or I will severely hurt you later.' Sirius suppressed a cry of pain then frowned and glared at Wilbur. He took a menacing step forward and the dangerous look on Wilbur's face was replaced by one of complete and utter terror and he let out a sort of squeal before running as fast as he could in the other direction. 

Once Tacey was completely sure that Wilbur was gone she breathed an immense sigh of relief, released Sirius' now practically mangled hand then made a disgusted face and grabbed a tankard of butterbeer which she began guzzling frantically. 

" Now, I know you want me, Tace, but you've gotta learn to control yourself in front of other people." Sirius said, smiling and leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. 

Tacey finished the butterbeer then put it back down on the table and glared at him.

" Oh grow up, Black. That guy has been stalking me since first year, I was desperate for an excuse not to have to interact with him and you were the best thing I had. And Merlin's beard, Sirius, has anyone ever told you about this miraculous thing called mouthwash?" 

Sirius merely shook his head and laughed. 

" Make all the excuses you want, Tace, you and I both know the truth." 

Tacey growled then launched herself at Sirius, tackling him around the waist. They hit the ground and Tacey sat on his stomach, grabbing for the first thing she could use as a weapon. It happened to be a dirty napkin off the floor. She brandished it as though it were a spiked club then brought it down to his face as though she intended to smother him with it. 

" Augh, Tace, come on. That's really disgusting, hey, gah, no." Sirius said as he squirmed trying to keep his face away from the disgusting napkin. After a few more seconds of this, he finally got frustrated and grabbed her wrist, pulling it away from his face. Tacey struggled for a several futile moments then gave up, dropping the napkin. 

" Stop touching me!" She commanded.

" You know you want it." Sirius said, his eyes gleaming, beginning to kiss the back of her hand. 

" Eww, Black, stop it!" Tacey exclaimed, desperately trying to get her hand away and failing again. 

" Oh come on." He whispered, pulling her down to him then kissing her. 

She hesitated a moment then pulled back quickly, flushing despite herself. She slapped him harshly, his face smacking into the floor because of the force of her blow. She then quickly got off of him and stomped out of the Three Broomsticks.


End file.
